These Little Secrets
by Madame Atomic Bomb
Summary: SPOILERS FOR BOOK 3 OF LOK LEAKS After a night of illicit passion, Toph breaks some startling news to Sokka. News that will change both of their lives forever. Tokka angst and smut


**NOTES: There are spoilers for Book 3 of Legend of Korra in here. This is just my headcanon about things we learn about Toph's family, and what I'll believe until told otherwise. Don't read on if you haven't watched or read the leaks. **

* * *

She sits across from him, stone-faced, one finger rubbing along a small length of metal chain lying atop her desk. Her pale green eyes blink slowly beneath the obscuring strands of her midnight black hair. Her lower lip pulls back, tugged by her teeth. There are shadows beneath her eyes though, and she looks paler than normal.

She's nervous about something, he can tell. He knows her too well not to see the signs.

He studies her face for a moment, as the silence between them stretches, mounting with tension and things best left unsaid.

_She's so beautiful and she doesn't even know it_, Sokka thinks as he stares at Toph. He stops himself though. He can't chase that line of thought because if he does, it will unleash something in him. Something he has vowed to keep tethered deep in his heart, along with the biggest secret of his life.

A secret they had shared one night over two months ago. A secret that will unravel both of their lives if they let it out.

_(Her mouth hovered against his as he put his hands on her slender waist, pulling her lithe form against his body. This was wrong. So wrong. And yet it felt right, like it should have happened a long time ago._

_She laughed and put her arm around his neck, her breath like a ghost against his hungry lips._

_"What do you think you're doing?" she laughed, even as she pulled him closer._

_"I don't know…something stupid…"_

_"We shouldn't…"_

_"No…" he breathed in agreement, and thoughts of his wife flitted into his mind and then back out again. Guilt tried to make a home behind his heart, but he pushed it out._

Just once. I just want her once. It'll never happen again, I swear it.

_"Sokka, we should…"_

_And then he was kissing her, quieting her protest, pulling her against him as his blood thundered in his veins. This woman, his friend, his best friend in the world, she was like molten steel in his arms, molding to him, igniting him. He kissed her hard, tangling his hands in her hair as he pushed her against the wall._

_He knew they should stop, that it could lead to nothing but trouble for the both of them._

_He was married. Happily married._

_She was the mother of a brilliant little girl who was already taking after her in so many ways._

_But his wife wasn't here. And Lin was staying Aang and Katara's tonight. They were alone._

_And it would only be this once._

_Sokka didn't stop. And neither did she.)_

Guilt rides hard along his spine as he leans forward across her desk, breaking the uncomfortable moment. "What's wrong, Toph?"

Her mouth flattens and she grabs hold of the chain. For comfort, he thinks, or perhaps just to give her restless hands something to do. She takes a ragged breath and then tilts her head, as if regarding him with genuine interest.

Finally, she says in a falsely nonchalant tone, "I'm pregnant."

_(Toph's shirt ripped beneath his hands as he yanked it open impatiently. His mouth caught on her lips, his tongue pushing against hers with hungry avarice. Toph's leg tightened on his hip, her pelvis thrusting forward, rubbing against his half-hard cock. The pressure made him groan into her hot, drugging kiss._

_He caught her metal-clad wrists, pinning them to the wall as he surged against her._

_"I want to fuck you," he said against her mouth._

_"I know. That's why you came here tonight."_

_He couldn't deny it. Not even a little bit._

_"Toph…" he moaned as he kissed down her throat, gathering her breasts in his hands._

_"Shut up and fuck me, Sokka.")_

"You're _what?_"

"Pregnant."

"How?"

"We had sex. You came inside me. Remember?" she says flatly and he blinks at her. How can she be so calm? His brain is trying to process it, what it means, the life-changing implications…

"Trust me, I haven't been able to forget it."

"Neither have I, unfortunately. I went to a healer yesterday. She confirmed what I've already suspected for weeks. I thought I ought to tell you. So I have," she says and gestures to the door. "I have a lot of work to do, you can go now."

Sokka stared at her, reeling.

_(He tossed his pants aside as Toph sat back on the bed, gesturing him forward with a crooked finger. He followed her finger, crawling onto her bed and grasping her knees. She didn't protest when he yanked her legs apart._

_"Yes… Sokka…"_

_When he buried his face against her hot, wet flesh, she tangled her hand in his hair, lifting her hips in entreaty._

_She tasted like fine wine and he drank her in, getting lost in her, promising himself it would only be this once… And when she came against his tongue, around his fingers, he knew that he was lying to himself. It would never be enough. )_

"Toph, we have to talk about this!" he exclaims, running a hand through his hair. He's got a headache behind his eyes, caused by his mounting blood pressure and the stone-faced woman in front of him, his best friend, secret lover, and the mother of his child. He simultaneously wants to run from her, kiss her and shake sense into her, just to get away from her impossible expression.

"What is there to talk about, Sokka? I'm pregnant. You're technically the father."

"What do you mean_, technically?_" he pushes, thumping his hands on her desk. One slim black brow arches and her lips flatten in staunch disapproval.

"It means I really don't think it's a good idea that your wife, one of my best and oldest friends, finds out that you and I had an affair while she was in the Fire Nation. I don't think your brother-in-law wants to hear about it. Or your sister. Or Republic City. You're running for Councilman, Sokka. Having a bastard child and a love affair with the new police chief won't get you any votes. And there's my job to think about."

Sokka sinks back into his chair, feeling as if someone has deflated him like a balloon. His chest hurts and he feels like he's getting acid reflux. His hands capture the edge of the desk and tighten there.

"It…it was a mistake. One night. A mistake."

For the first time, Toph's expression slides out of her measured calm and she turns her face, hiding her eyes behind her fringe of hair. The length of chain in her fingers pulls taut, her fingers tightening, knuckles white.

"Yes. It was a mistake. A horrible mistake," she mumbles.

_(Toph pulled his head up as she shuddered beneath him, the taste of her orgasm clinging to his lips. He kissed her, their bodies colliding as he flattened her to the bed. His blood pounding in his ears as Toph's mouth rolled against, digging in, her fingers finding his hips. She grasped his cock and worked it in her fingers._

_She wasn't teasing him though. She was all business. All animal instinct. Her body was hot and wet beneath his, begging for more._

_He caught her leg beneath the knee and spread her open for him. Together, they positioned his cock at her sweet warm opening and with a none-too-gentle thrust of his hips, he entered her, shattering that last barrier between friends and lovers._

_Toph gasped against his mouth, arching into him, meeting the forward momentum of his body with her own. He pulled back, watching her face as he made love to her._

_It was everything he'd ever wanted.)_

Sokka swallows, wanting to tell her that hadn't been a mistake. That sleeping with her had been a night he hadn't been able to forget, try as he might. That dreams of her have plagued him. That even now he feels the pull toward her.

But he doesn't. And he can't.

He's married to Suki, a woman he loves, and has loved since the first time he'd met her. They've been trying for children, but nothing has come of it yet. He loves her. He does.

And yet that night with Toph sits in his soul like a burning ember, scorching him from the inside out with every igniting breath. Why had he done it? Why had he been so stupid? Why?

He knows this will ruin his marriage. Knows it'll ruin his chances on the Council. It'll break his friends apart. It'll be a scandal that will be talked about all over the world; the Avatar's brother-in-law had an affair and a child with the famous Metalbender, Toph Bei Fong. He can almost see the headlines now.

Panic seizes him.

"So what are we going to do about it?" he asks tensely, leaning forward again.

Toph's attention snaps back to him and her mouth draws down in a brief frown.

"We? There is no 'we', Sokka."

"But…"

"I told you, it'll be a scandal if they find out you're the father. So you're not anymore."

"….What?" he says, staring at her in confusion. Toph's head tilts back and she pulls tightly on the chain. Her face is flushing a little.

"You're not the father."

_(Somehow they'd rolled off of the bed together. Their limbs were sticky with sweat, the taste of each other on their lips. He pushed her down onto her stomach on the floor, his body pressing flat on top of hers, hips bouncing against her ass, filling her deep and fast and rough._

_"Don't stop!" Toph begged him as she pushed face to the side and reached back, her nails digging in to his bouncing hips._

_He obeyed, knowing that he never wanted to stop. Not ever. His whole world had crashed down around him, filling him with Toph. Her body, her breath, her kiss, her voice. The way she moaned when he brought her to the edge again and again._

_He pushed his face against her neck and breathed against her ear, kissing her temple. When he dug a hand beneath her, skinning his knuckles on the rug as he got his fingers between her legs. He rubbed her clit and she shuddered again, careening over the precipice, her muscles clenching around him like a fist._

_"Come for me, Toph," he moaned into her ear._

_Toph gasped and lifted her ass into him as he pounded into her. Then she shattered with a strangled scream of ecstasy.)_

"You heard me. The official story is that I slept with some Water Tribe sailor I met in a bar down by the docks one night after work. I was drunk. So was he. He left on a ship the next morning. I'll never see him again and I can't even remember his name. Darn the luck."

"Toph!"

"You _aren't_ the father, Sokka," Toph says adamantly, standing now. She's breathing a little faster, her words coming out rapid-fire.

"You can't… That's a lie, Toph!" he says, getting to his feet as well. He puts his hands flat on the desk and glares at her.

"A necessary one. I can't let this ruin your life, Sokka. Or mine. I care you about too much. I pushed you that night. I knew what I was doing. I seduced you."

"No, you didn't! I wanted you. I _still _do, dammit! I shouldn't… But spirits help me, I do."

Toph lets out a breath and tightens the chain again, pulling it so hard that he's afraid she'll start bleeding. "You're not allowed to say that to me. Ever again, do you understand? It _was_ a mistake. The whole thing was a mistake. This is my child. I'm going to have it, raise it and he or she will _never_ know their father. It's better this way."

"Our child needs their father!"

"Lin's growing up without her father and she's just fine," Toph argues and hurt shows in her expression. Sokka sinks back on his heels, his hands at his sides.

"That's different. Satoru died in an explosion at the factory before you even knew you were pregnant. But I'm still right here. You can't push me out."

"Yes, I can," she says, setting her jaw. "I shouldn't have told you in the first place."

"I deserved to know."

"And you deserve to not have your life wrecked."

"That's not fair!" he exclaims. "I couldn't live a lie that big, Toph. I just couldn't. We were both responsible for that night. We both wanted it to happen."

_(Toph straddled him, riding him, kissing him hard and long, as if she'd been dying to do so for so long. He knew the feeling. He couldn't get enough of her. Every inch of her body begged to be explored. He slid his fingers against her, around her, through her, and marked her with his lips and teeth._

_"I never want this night to end," he mumbles against her throat._

_"Shut up," she gasped and yanked his mouth back to hers. She kissed him hard and then pushed him flat onto his back._

_Her hips snapped against his as she flattened her hands against his stomach. Her skin was flushed red, slick with sweat, her hair tangled from his hands and the pillows. Everything seemed like a dream. Sokka dug his head back into the pillows._

_"I'm gonna come…"_

_"Yes…" Her head tipped back as she ground down on him. The pleasure was too much, her body too slick, too hot to withstand any longer. Orgasm slid toward him like a knife in the dark and he gave himself up to it._

_He sat up and gathered Toph in his arms, lifting into her, hard and fast. They both shattered at the same time and he felt himself cum inside of her with hot, wet burst that wrenched a guttural moan of him. He shook in her arms, her body tight around him, milking him._

_"Yes… yes… Spirits…" he mumbled against her breasts as she took it all. He captured her mouth again._

_He kissed her. Again and again, he kissed her. )_

Toph turns her back on him, shaking visibly now. "So was that night worth losing Suki over? Because if she finds out, she'll leave you. We had an affair. I'm having your baby, a baby she hasn't been able to give you yet and I know how hard she's tried. She cried on my shoulder, Sokka…and I turned around and slept with husband! I'm a terrible person."

"No, you're not…"

"Yes, I am! And I know how much it's hurting her and so do you. How do you think this will make her feel? What is this going to do to her?"

Sokka lets out a breath and imagines it all. It would kill Suki. It would destroy his marriage. He knows it. He sees it all. His infidelity wouldn't be forgiven, _shouldn't_ be forgiven. It was inexcusable.

The thought of losing Suki is too much to bear. He'd cheated on her. He didn't deserve her, but he couldn't imagine what losing her would do to him. Without Suki, life made no sense.

_I'm such a selfish bastard…_

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Walk out of here. Go make love to your wife. Buy her flowers. Tell you love her. Get her pregnant. Congratulate me on my news when we have dinner at Aang and Katara's on Saturday night. Act surprised. Tease me about sleeping around. Dote on Lin like you always do. And when I have this baby, you can dote on it too. Be Uncle Sokka. Be my friend and only my friend. Forget any of this ever happened. Forget that night. Forget it is yours."

"Live a lie, you mean. I can't."

"You have to. Make it the truth, Sokka. The minute you walk out this door, I'm never talking about that night again. I'm never going to mention it, or the baby's real father again, to you or anyone. No one will ever know."

"We will. The guilt will eat us up inside."

Toph turns toward him. There are tears on her face and they shock him. He wants to go to her, to hold her, but he knows that he can't.

"Good. We deserve it. This is our punishment."

_(Sokka woke up with a start, the bed unfamiliar, his surroundings disorienting. Toph was standing at the foot of the bed, already dressed in her black uniform. Her face was hardened, the softness and desire of the night before replaced with cool impartiality._

_She tossed his pants at him and said, "Get dressed. They called me to work early. Something about a gang fight down in the Dragon Flats Borough. Lock up when you leave."_

_She turned toward the door as he grabbed his pants. "Toph! Wait?"_

_"For what?"_

_"I think we should talk…"_

_She looked uncomfortable standing in the doorway to her bedroom, the erotic scent of sex still in the air, a high flush tinting in her cheeks._

_"There's nothing to talk about, Sokka. We had sex. We shouldn't have, but we did and now we just have to live with that."_

_"I don't know if I can. Last night was incredible, Toph…"_

_Toph hesitated in the doorway, swallowing. "You're married, Sokka. This was a mistake and you know it. I feel awful, don't you?"_

_"Yes. And no."_

_"Just go home, okay?" Toph said, and he could see the hint of tears in her eyes for a moment. Then she locked down her expression. "Go home and pretend this never happened. I'll never mention it again. I'll never tell her or anyone."_

_"Toph…"_

_But she was already out the door, leaving him alone in her bed, guilt and longing shifting through him like sand.)_

Sokka stares at her, feeling sick to his stomach. "I don't want to do this."

"You have no other choice," she says adamantly. "And you know it."

"This isn't fair to you. It's not fair…"

"It wasn't fair of me to sleep with my friend's husband. Life sucks. Deal with it."

"Toph…"

"Just go, Sokka. Please?"

"I don't know if I can do this."

Toph's eyes are wet as she turns them away from him, hiding them behind her fringe as she leans her face down. She squeezes the chain and then steadies herself. She drops the chain onto the desk with a clatter and lifts her head. Her face that calm mask again, unreachable, distant, resolved.

"Me neither. Guess we'll find out, huh?"

And with that, she walks out the door of her office, leaving him standing there, watching her go. He feels adrift, changed on a molecular level, trapped by lies and his own stupidity.

Can he do it? Can he pretend that the baby isn't his? Can he lie to his wife, his sister, his friends? Can he be Toph's friend and only her friend? Can he live this lie and hide these little secrets for the rest of his life?

"I can't. I can't do this," he whispers.

But when he thinks of Suki, of Toph, of the scandal that will crash down around them all, he knows that he'll try anyway. Even if it tears him apart inside.

After all, Toph is right. It's nothing less than he deserves.

_(end)_


End file.
